Have you ever been promised something only to be let down because it didn’t happen? Have you ever been expecting someone to treat you a certain way or to do something they committed to only to be disappointed? Wouldn’t life be so much easier if everyone did what they said they would? Well, of course, the answer is “yes” but the reality is that things don’t always work out as we expect. I recently had a situation where I was reminded of this.
I put my heart and soul into a project and was told that I would be rewarded if I met certain parameters. I exceeded expectations and met all the gates set out for me only to be told that there were now new parameters. This happened a couple of times and still I was no closer to the reward I was promised. Boy, was I angry!!!! I had done everything I was told and I DESERVED to get the reward.
As time went on, I put myself into a complete frenzy. As I’ve mentioned before, I love to walk and so on my daily walks I have spent the majority of that time having conversations in my head. You know those conversations, the ones where you tell the person exactly how you feel and you don’t mince words. Mind you, the words and approach you use in your head is not censored. The real life conversation is always more politically correct. You lay it all out on the table and prove that you are right and they are wrong. Trust me, I have lots of those conversations in my head. This one, though, was particularly frustrating. I was even waking up thinking about it and how I was going to right the wrong that was done to me. Except that I didn’t actually have control over the situation. What I came to realize was that there was a lot more to what was happening and that this was bigger than me and that people were trying hard to right the wrong.
It didn’t matter to me. At this point, I was focused on being right and winning. I shot the messenger several times until I could tell he would cringe when he had to speak to me. Abraham Hicks would not have condoned this type of behaviour as I was putting out such negative energy. The angrier I got and the more I wanted to be right, the more the thing I wanted was slipping away.
One thing you should know about me is that I am like a dog with a bone. When I am right, I am right and want to be recognized for it. In fairness, I did learn this from my Mom. She taught us to stand up for ourselves and go after what we want and I will always love her for that. But it really was time to stop my obsession with “winning” this battle.
I did know that I needed to let this go and I had really tried to let it go but to be honest, not really. I still wanted to win. I still wanted to be right and be recognized. I was telling a dear friend about the situation and she said to me “ I know you are holding on to this because you want to be right but what is it costing you?”. Whoa wait…..that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted her to jump on the band wagon and say “Yes Lyn, you are right and they are doing a terrible injustice to you”. When she asked that question, I stopped dead in my tracks and really examined the situation.
I guarantee you, that no one but me was having “those” conversations in their head or losing sleep. I was putting out all the negative energy into the situation, which meant I was actually pushing it further away. I was making it uncomfortable for them to want to work with me and guess what? The work was falling away at a rapid rate. Gee, I wonder why.
My friend said to me, can you let it go? Of course, the answer was “yes”. Then she asked, will you let it go? The answer to that was far more difficult. I was willing to give it a shot, though. I’d tried to let it go before but to no avail. This time, H’oponono popped into my head out of the blue. I just smiled because this was the tool I needed to heal myself.
For those of you who aren’t familiar, it is very simple. It’s four lines that you say to yourself:
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you
These words said over and over have helped heal me and let go of what I was holding on to. If you are holding on to something, try the H’oponopono prayer.
We will always be faced with disappointments or unfairness in our lives. That’s just the way things are. The only control we have is in how we chose to deal with it. We can either focus on being right and winning or we can chose to let it go if it is causing us distress. Is it better to be right or happy? Only you can decide.
iamlynkarnstedt 