When people ask me whom I most admire, the answer is always the same. It is my Grandmother.  She was an amazing woman who was incredibly smart (even though she had little formal education), beautiful inside and out, kind, generous and funny.  She passed away when she was in her mid-90s but I was fortunate to have shared a good portion of my life with her.  She taught me so many things that I still practice today.  There is no way I can share everything because this would be a massive post so I’ll highlight just a few.

Let me tell you a little bit about my Grandma.  She was a very modern woman even in the early 1920s.  She grew up in a suburb of Chicago and back in the day before commuting was cool, she had a job in the city.  She also spent time with her friend ‘s family in Washington DC during one summer.  As I said, back in the 1920s that was pretty independent.  I think that’s how my Grandma became so confident and sure of herself.   We create the vibrations around us, either positive or negative.  Boy, were there positive vibes from my Grandma.  She never spoke poorly about anyone and accepted people for exactly who they were.  I think the harshest thing I heard my Grandma say about someone was that ‘She really didn’t care much for a certain person’.  The first thing she taught me was that you are in control of your relationships with people.   You chose how you react to people.  If someone has treated you in a way that was disappointing, you can either deal with it positively and move on or you can wallow and become negative. The problem with the negative approach is that it just fosters more negativity.  That negativity becomes a downward spiral and impacts everything that you do.  It isn’t difficult to find the good in people when you make a conscious effort to see it. Give it a try.  You might be surprised at the results.

My grandma could hang with the best of them.  She was so comfortable in her own skin and wasn’t intimidated by others (or if she was, I never saw it).  The best part about that confidence is that she loved getting to know people. As she got older and she was a bit less mobile, it was amazing the number of people who would come visit her. The really great part was that it was people of all ages.  My grandma loved learning from people of all ages.  During one lunch at her church, I watched her have a very serious conversation with a 5 year old about a butterfly, then turn around and talk to my brother’s friend (in his late 20s) about a baseball game that she had watched on TV, then talk to my mom’s friend about current events and then talk to her friends about what was happening next week with the Ladies Aid group.  Lesson number two is develop relationships with people of all ages.  It was not unusual for me to come to her house and see her chatting with one of my cousin’s friends or have one of my brother’s friends pop by as he was driving past.  She was just generally a very curious person and enjoyed conversations and getting to know people.  She was always asking questions and was such a great listener.  Look at the friendships you currently have.  Do you have friendships with people of different ages? Are you generally curious about them? What can you learn from people? The more you focus on others, the richer your relationships will be.

Long before gyms were popular or working out was a must, my grandma did two things.  The first thing was that she walked everywhere.  She didn’t have a driver’s license so if she wanted to go somewhere nearby, she walked.  When we would stay with her, we didn’t really miss having a car because we loved those walks.   There was also an exercise bike in her living room.  She rode that bike religiously.  I truly believe that helped her stay active for so long into her 90s. The third lesson I learned is that moving your body every day is good for you.  Do something you love and have fun with it.  It helps your body function more efficiently and also helps you sleep better and focus more.

Grandma always loved to have fun.  From the time we were little, I remember playing board games and card games with her.  We would laugh until our sides hurt.  She could always find humour in things.  She also loved to meet friends, have a nice meal out, go to a movie or concert. Grandma enjoyed life.  Was her life perfect?  Of course not!  Did she deal with lots of difficult things?  Absolutely.  But she not only survived but she thrived.  She lost her husband at a very young age and I’m sure that was difficult for her but she lived 30+ years after that and made a wonderful life for herself. The way you live your life is your choice.  My grandma chose to enjoy it.  I have met many people who have encountered difficulty and have pulled the walls in around them.  Sometimes never recovering or carrying a huge scar from what happened.  Lesson number four is how you live your life is your choice.  Live it to the fullest.   Along with living your life to the fullest, Grandma also subscribed to the theory that a little glass of wine here and there never hurt anyone.

So you see, I am so blessed to have had a Grandma who truly impacted my life.  She taught me :

• You are in control of your relationships with people
• Develop relationships with people of all ages
• Moving your body every day is good for you
• How you live your life is your choice. Live it to the fullest.

We often get so busy with day to day ‘stuff’ that we forget about how we live our lives and the relationships we develop.  I hope that by sharing this with you, it will remind you of some of the choices you can make about your life and the impact it can have.  Go out and enjoy your life and the relationships you have.

 

This was a tough week for me. I said goodbye to a dear friend who was moving back to the US. I met her about a year ago. She came into my life at the perfect time. I was living in a place where I didn’t really know anyone. We happened to be sitting across from each other at a lunch and started talking and the rest was history. She has been my partner in crime and has really been there for me. I was so sad to see her go. Selfishly, I was also thinking what am I going to do now? I have to try and meet new people all over again. Ironically, I was invited to a party the day before my friend left. The party was a huge success and I woke up the next morning grinning from ear to ear. I met some amazing women and was already looking forward to spending more time with several of them. I love the Universe! When I ask for something, it delivers either what I ask for or something better.

I started thinking about different synchronicities that have happened in my life. I have always wanted a pet but I travel a lot and was afraid to commit. Well, once again the Universe had other plans for me. I opened the door one day and found a cat on my doorstep. This cat just started appearing every day and would just hang out in my yard all day. She would wait patiently for me and would just curl around my legs and loved nothing more than to be picked up and loved.   As time went on, the cat became far more insistent about wanting to live with me. She became ill and eventually moved into my house. She was the perfect pet for me and we helped each other at a time when we both needed companionship. Very shortly after she moved in she was diagnosed with a terminal illness and died a few weeks later. I miss her every day but take comfort in the fact that she died having had a better life. Ironically, I ended up not traveling at all during the time she lived with me. Almost immediately after she died I started traveling again and was not able to get a new pet. Another synchronicity. She adopted me at the perfect time for both of us.

There are so many more synchronicities that happen in my life. The people who were supposed to rent the place where I am living now, backed out at the time I was about to sign a lease for a different place. I am now living in the perfect house. The list goes on and on.  When you these synchronicities happen, you know you are on the right path.  What is showing up for you?

You get the picture, right? Here is the thing….if I had tried to plan these things it would not have worked out this well. I was speaking to someone about Law of Attraction and she said (very wisely) that using the Law of Attraction is a bit like ordering a meal at a restaurant. When you place your order, you don’t then go back to the kitchen and help them cook the meal. You trust that the cooks will get it right and you wait patiently for your meal to be delivered. I find that too often, I place my order and head for the kitchen. Honestly, it’s really hard to let go and trust that you will get what you asked for or something better so we tend to try and help it along.

This is the confusing part for me (and for most people). You place your order but you have to stay out of the kitchen but still take some actions. How do you do all that? Let me see if I can help. You start by putting out there what you want. Be very clear about what it is. Then leave it alone but listen for guidance around the next step you should take. Perhaps there will be a sign (like a cat showing up at your door or an invite to a party). It’s up to you to take action based on the signs you receive. The steps will come to you. The other thing that I have found is that when you are moving in sync with the universe, it is easy and joyful. If it seems like a lot of work, it probably means you are not headed in the right direction.

It’s really a very simple process to follow:

• Ask for what you want
• Trust that the universe will deliver what you want or something better (as long as you stay out of the kitchen)
• Listen to the guidance you receive
• Act on the guidance

Give it a try and see what unfolds. You will be amazed at what you receive.

Have you ever been promised something only to be let down because it didn’t happen? Have you ever been expecting someone to treat you a certain way or to do something they committed to only to be disappointed? Wouldn’t life be so much easier if everyone did what they said they would? Well, of course, the answer is “yes” but the reality is that things don’t always work out as we expect. I recently had a situation where I was reminded of this.

I put my heart and soul into a project and was told that I would be rewarded if I met certain parameters. I exceeded expectations and met all the gates set out for me only to be told that there were now new parameters. This happened a couple of times and still I was no closer to the reward I was promised. Boy, was I angry!!!! I had done everything I was told and I DESERVED to get the reward.

As time went on, I put myself into a complete frenzy. As I’ve mentioned before, I love to walk and so on my daily walks I have spent the majority of that time having conversations in my head. You know those conversations, the ones where you tell the person exactly how you feel and you don’t mince words. Mind you, the words and approach you use in your head is not censored. The real life conversation is always more politically correct. You lay it all out on the table and prove that you are right and they are wrong. Trust me, I have lots of those conversations in my head.   This one, though, was particularly frustrating. I was even waking up thinking about it and how I was going to right the wrong that was done to me. Except that I didn’t actually have control over the situation. What I came to realize was that there was a lot more to what was happening and that this was bigger than me and that people were trying hard to right the wrong.

It didn’t matter to me. At this point, I was focused on being right and winning. I shot the messenger several times until I could tell he would cringe when he had to speak to me. Abraham Hicks would not have condoned this type of behaviour as I was putting out such negative energy. The angrier I got and the more I wanted to be right, the more the thing I wanted was slipping away.

One thing you should know about me is that I am like a dog with a bone. When I am right, I am right and want to be recognized for it. In fairness, I did learn this from my Mom. She taught us to stand up for ourselves and go after what we want and I will always love her for that. But it really was time to stop my obsession with “winning” this battle.

I did know that I needed to let this go and I had really tried to let it go but to be honest, not really. I still wanted to win. I still wanted to be right and be recognized. I was telling a dear friend about the situation and she said to me “ I know you are holding on to this because you want to be right but what is it costing you?”. Whoa wait…..that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted her to jump on the band wagon and say “Yes Lyn, you are right and they are doing a terrible injustice to you”. When she asked that question, I stopped dead in my tracks and really examined the situation.

I guarantee you, that no one but me was having “those” conversations in their head or losing sleep.   I was putting out all the negative energy into the situation, which meant I was actually pushing it further away. I was making it uncomfortable for them to want to work with me and guess what? The work was falling away at a rapid rate. Gee, I wonder why.

My friend said to me, can you let it go? Of course, the answer was “yes”. Then she asked, will you let it go? The answer to that was far more difficult. I was willing to give it a shot, though. I’d tried to let it go before but to no avail. This time, H’oponono popped into my head out of the blue. I just smiled because this was the tool I needed to heal myself.

For those of you who aren’t familiar, it is very simple. It’s four lines that you say to yourself:

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you

These words said over and over have helped heal me and let go of what I was holding on to. If you are holding on to something, try the H’oponopono prayer.

We will always be faced with disappointments or unfairness in our lives. That’s just the way things are. The only control we have is in how we chose to deal with it. We can either focus on being right and winning or we can chose to let it go if it is causing us distress. Is it better to be right or happy? Only you can decide.

Over the years, I have become slightly obsessed (ok, let’s be honest…really obsessed) with motivational speakers, law of attraction, inspirational sayings etc. One that we often hear is “Live each day as if it is your last”.   Now, that sounds great in theory but the reality is that life gets in the way.   For me, work and travel for work got in the way. For others, it may be children or spouses or volunteer work , or fill in the blank here that gets in the way. It’s easy to tell ourselves the story that “I will embrace life tomorrow but today I have to get through my to do list”.   As I continue to learn, if I can’t figure out the lesson myself, the Universe will happily step in and teach me.

In March 12, 2016, my whole world was changed for good. It started out like any other day. I was getting ready to go on a business trip just like I did had done so many times before. I wasn’t feeling very well so, for the first time in my life, I cancelled the trip. As the day wore on, I felt worse and worse. Later that day, I ended up being hospitalized. I fell asleep that night watching Apollo 13 and no joke, the last thing I remember hearing was “Houston we have a problem”. Talk about foreshadowing. The next thing I remember was being unable to breathe and the very last thing I remember was having nurses surrounding me trying to intubate me whilst I was awake.   Trust me when I tell you that is not something ANYONE wants to experience. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.   When I finally woke up, I found out that I had a Pulmonary Embolism (a massive blood clot in my lungs) and that after they intubated me, I went into cardiac arrest. Technically, I guess I was “dead” for a couple minutes. Anyway, to fix the blood clot, I needed to have a massive surgery to clear out the blood clot. Basically, open heart surgery. That all went well but a couple days later, I had blood clots in both legs, which meant two more surgeries. I will spare you the gory details but basically I spent 30 days in a hospital recovering from the blood clots and surgeries. It was a long road to recover but I had amazing people in my life, both friends and family, who stuck by me through every step of the way.

When you face a life-threatening situation, you really hope that you are in the best hands possible.   The Universe (who, by the way, was teaching me a massive lesson) brought me an amazing surgeon. He was absolutely phenomenal and was kind and caring and had a great sense of humour. One day when he came to check on me, he said something that has stuck with me since that day. He said “I am really excited to see what you do with your life. There were at least a couple times when you should have died but you didn’t. I truly believe you are destined to do great things and that is why you were saved.”   I knew my surgeon was a golfer and I said to him, thank you for my mulligan. I promise I will make good use of it. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term “mulligan”, it’s a do over or a second chance.

So I was given a mulligan. I went from focusing on a business trip to almost dying to getting a new lease on life. When I was finally left the hospital, I knew that I needed to live each day to the fullest and not wait.

The beauty of living this way is that you start to have a child like approach to life. You start to see flowers and butterflies and feathers and beauty and enjoy everything.  As I mentioned previously, I walk the same path almost every day and now it looked completely different. I noticed 20 white butterflies one day. They were probably always there but now I actually saw them.   The choices I make now are around things that I enjoy. I no longer wait and I see beauty in everything around me. Now, I am no Pollyanna, I still get frustrated and upset but I bounce back more quickly and try not to dwell on things.

Here is the amazing part. Before I became ill. I was stressing about work. Where will the next job come from (I’m a contractor)? Will I be able to make enough money to continue what I’m doing? These were questions that ran through my head constantly. After my illness, work just started flowing in. It is work I love. When I started living and stopped stressing and worrying so much, everything clicked both personally and professionally.

The Universe knew I needed something dramatic to shake me into action. I look back and think, did it have to be so dramatic? I guess so because it changed my life. Every morning, I start by expressing my gratitude for waking up (because I now know that it’s not a given). I express gratitude for everything in my life. When I tell my story, people will often say things like that’s awful or you poor thing. What I tell them is that in a very odd way, that crisis was the best thing that ever happened for me

The biggest lesson I have learned is don’t wait until tomorrow. If you have a trip you want to take, plan it now. If you have always wanted to write a book, then start writing it today. Whatever it is you want to do, just start. Create your own mulligan and live the rest of your life as if each day is your last because you never know if it will be.

Not too long ago, I was going through a difficult time. I suspect you know what I am talking about. You know, when things just seem a little off. Maybe work isn’t going as well as you would like or you aren’t feeling great or you are having a rough patch in your relationship. It doesn’t really matter what it is….basically, it’s a just a difficult time. We are all human and it just happens.

During this rough time, I received an e-mail from Amazon about a book recommendation; The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein. Normally, the recommendations I receive are all fiction or business books but the title of this was very catchy and something I was interested in.   I figured it was a sign and I quickly bought the book and literally devoured it. I couldn’t put it down. It seemed like it was written just for me.

One of the key messages in the book was choosing love over fear. Taking that one step further, I had the choice to live in love, light and joy or not. I realized this was a good way to break out of my current rough patch because at the moment I was getting really really good at negative self talk and moving into a downward spiral. It is very liberating when you start to realize that you have the choice of how you live each day. You take the actions. You control how you are perceived. You control the messages you tell yourself. People respond to you based on the vibes you are putting out.

The way things had been going, I figured I would try to give living in love, light and joy a shot. I really didn’t have anything to lose. Besides, it was far more fun than wallowing in negative emotions (although in fairness, I do love a good cry). The results of this choice were nothing short of miraculous.

Walking is one of my favourite past times. I like to use it to meditate and also use it to have some fabulous conversations with myself. Some days, I use my walks to focus on positive affirmations (a la Lousie Hay who is one of my heros). Here is what happened one day on my walk as I was beginning to live my life in love, light, and joy.

As I was walking along enjoying the stunning view, three dogs ran up to me. I pass these dogs every day on my walks and they have never even stirred when I walked by. This particular day, they were wagging their tails and trying to snuggle with me and walked with me for about a kilometer. Wow, there might be something to this love, light and joy thing.

In Gabby’s book, she says to ask for a sign if you want an answer to a question. I asked the universe a question and said show me a Beagle if the answer is yes.   So after the dogs left me, I looked up and there was a man walking a Beagle. Again, I have never seen that Beagle before and I walk there almost every day. I literally laughed out loud (which garnered a few odd looks) and I looked up at the sky and said “Ok, I get it. Thank you”. Since that day, I see that same Beagle every time I ask for a sign and never see him otherwise.

At this point, I was absolutely amazed but the Universe wasn’t finished with me yet. There was a darling elderly lady whom I had seen everyday strolling with her daughter. On this particular day, I was walking past and smiling as I always do and she grabbed my arm.  Of course, I stopped and she just patted my arm and looked at me and smiled with the most beautiful smile. The irony is that I have never seen that woman again but for that one day she absolutely touched my heart.

This may not seem like much but I have taken many many walks along this same path and none have stayed with me like this one. I truly believe that the Universe was conspiring to show me a different way and to remind me how joyful life can be.

Since that time, I have been really focused on choosing to live my life in love, light and joy. When I get down (and let’s face it, we all do), I can refocus and chose positivity. This approach has completely changed my life. Things have really fallen into place for me. I believe much of that is due to my change in attitude.

In my work, I come across a lot of people who are struggling with different types of challenges. What I see is that many of these folks, are choosing to stay stuck. They believe things like “people are against them”, “poor me, nothing every goes right for me”, “I am treated unfairly”, “things would be better if only x happened”….the list goes on and on. We talk about how they are remaining stuck of their own accord. There is a different way. Change your attitude. Change your life. Only you have the power to do this!!!!

Remember, when you feel like things are difficult or not going your way, remember to take a moment, breathe, and refocus. Think about the positives and be grateful for what you have. Give it a try, you’ll be glad you did.

When my friend asked me to go to a place called Elephantstay in Thailand, I thought it would be fun to get away, interact with elephants and get some great photos.  What I didn’t realize was the profound impact this trip would have on me.  If you had told me that a giant elephant was going to teach me amazing life lessons, I would never have believed it.

Upon our arrival, we were given a safety talk and then right out to start feeding and watering the elephants.  The first thing I thought was wow they are big and powerful and a little bit scary.   I kept thinking, they must be crazy if they think I am going to climb on the back of this beast.  Of course, like many animals, the elephants are food motivated and as soon as I gave Rasamee (“my elephant”) food and water, she started to bond with me.  Lesson Number One-Don’t make judgments about others.  We often look at someone or watch the way they act and immediately make assumptions. Quite often, those assumptions are wrong.  In life, we need to take the time to get to know the person and not make assumptions.

With the thought of the first ride coming up, I had been going through the morning telling myself that the ride would be scary.  The more I told myself this, the more frightened I became.  My negative self-talk was at an all time high. People don’t fall off elephants here but I had convinced myself that I would be the first person ever to fall off the elephant there.  By the time I got on Rasamee, I was almost panicked.  I was holding on for dear life and couldn’t relax even though the Mahout and our leader kept telling me that the ride would be so much more enjoyable if I did.  Lesson Number Two-Negative self talk can get in the way of enjoying life.  When you relax, the ride is far more enjoyable.   The Mahout had a very tight hold on me and any time that I felt even the least bit unsteady, Rasamee held on to me with her huge ears.  It was in no one’s best interest (including Rasamee) to have me fall. By day three, I finally realized that I wasn’t going to fall and it was at that point that I relaxed and did enjoy the ride.  Had I stopped my negative self talk on Day One, the whole experience would have been far more pleasurable.  I realize I do that quite often in life; hold on too tight and use negative self talk which makes the ride far less enjoyable.

My friend had been to Elephanstay several times before and there was a beautiful spot where she wanted to go to get a picture taken.  It was down a hill and when asked I said I wasn’t ready to go there.  I nicknamed the spot, the “scary spot” and I planned to avoid it at all costs.  Rasamee had other ideas in mind.  She saw my friend and her elephant and she thought, I’ll go join them.  Down she went into the “scary spot”.  I was terrified!!!  I think I even cried a little.  Although I was scared, I DID IT and what was crazier was that I wanted to do it again.  I was the one psyching myself out.  I was perfectly safe and there was no reason for me to be afraid of the “scary spot”.  Lesson Number Three-Approach things with a “can” rather than a “can’t” mindset.   Saying “I can” rather than “I can’t” changes the way you react to things in life and the “scary spot” can actually be quite pleasant.

There were so many more lessons I learned but these three were my top ones:

• Don’t make judgments about others
• Negative self talk can get in the way of enjoying life. When you relax the ride is far more enjoyable.
• Approach things from a “can” rather than “can’t” mindset.

This was such a great experience (and I did get some great photos).  I learned so much when I was there and definitely plan on going back. Who knew that a beautiful elephant could be such a great teacher.

 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton