Lessons Learned from My Grandmother

When people ask me whom I most admire, the answer is always the same. It is my Grandmother.  She was an amazing woman who was incredibly smart (even though she had little formal education), beautiful inside and out, kind, generous and funny.  She passed away when she was in her mid-90s but I was fortunate to have shared a good portion of my life with her.  She taught me so many things that I still practice today.  There is no way I can share everything because this would be a massive post so I’ll highlight just a few.

Let me tell you a little bit about my Grandma.  She was a very modern woman even in the early 1920s.  She grew up in a suburb of Chicago and back in the day before commuting was cool, she had a job in the city.  She also spent time with her friend ‘s family in Washington DC during one summer.  As I said, back in the 1920s that was pretty independent.  I think that’s how my Grandma became so confident and sure of herself.   We create the vibrations around us, either positive or negative.  Boy, were there positive vibes from my Grandma.  She never spoke poorly about anyone and accepted people for exactly who they were.  I think the harshest thing I heard my Grandma say about someone was that ‘She really didn’t care much for a certain person’.  The first thing she taught me was that you are in control of your relationships with people.   You chose how you react to people.  If someone has treated you in a way that was disappointing, you can either deal with it positively and move on or you can wallow and become negative. The problem with the negative approach is that it just fosters more negativity.  That negativity becomes a downward spiral and impacts everything that you do.  It isn’t difficult to find the good in people when you make a conscious effort to see it. Give it a try.  You might be surprised at the results.

My grandma could hang with the best of them.  She was so comfortable in her own skin and wasn’t intimidated by others (or if she was, I never saw it).  The best part about that confidence is that she loved getting to know people. As she got older and she was a bit less mobile, it was amazing the number of people who would come visit her. The really great part was that it was people of all ages.  My grandma loved learning from people of all ages.  During one lunch at her church, I watched her have a very serious conversation with a 5 year old about a butterfly, then turn around and talk to my brother’s friend (in his late 20s) about a baseball game that she had watched on TV, then talk to my mom’s friend about current events and then talk to her friends about what was happening next week with the Ladies Aid group.  Lesson number two is develop relationships with people of all ages.  It was not unusual for me to come to her house and see her chatting with one of my cousin’s friends or have one of my brother’s friends pop by as he was driving past.  She was just generally a very curious person and enjoyed conversations and getting to know people.  She was always asking questions and was such a great listener.  Look at the friendships you currently have.  Do you have friendships with people of different ages? Are you generally curious about them? What can you learn from people? The more you focus on others, the richer your relationships will be.

Long before gyms were popular or working out was a must, my grandma did two things.  The first thing was that she walked everywhere.  She didn’t have a driver’s license so if she wanted to go somewhere nearby, she walked.  When we would stay with her, we didn’t really miss having a car because we loved those walks.   There was also an exercise bike in her living room.  She rode that bike religiously.  I truly believe that helped her stay active for so long into her 90s. The third lesson I learned is that moving your body every day is good for you.  Do something you love and have fun with it.  It helps your body function more efficiently and also helps you sleep better and focus more.

Grandma always loved to have fun.  From the time we were little, I remember playing board games and card games with her.  We would laugh until our sides hurt.  She could always find humour in things.  She also loved to meet friends, have a nice meal out, go to a movie or concert. Grandma enjoyed life.  Was her life perfect?  Of course not!  Did she deal with lots of difficult things?  Absolutely.  But she not only survived but she thrived.  She lost her husband at a very young age and I’m sure that was difficult for her but she lived 30+ years after that and made a wonderful life for herself. The way you live your life is your choice.  My grandma chose to enjoy it.  I have met many people who have encountered difficulty and have pulled the walls in around them.  Sometimes never recovering or carrying a huge scar from what happened.  Lesson number four is how you live your life is your choice.  Live it to the fullest.   Along with living your life to the fullest, Grandma also subscribed to the theory that a little glass of wine here and there never hurt anyone.

So you see, I am so blessed to have had a Grandma who truly impacted my life.  She taught me :

• You are in control of your relationships with people
• Develop relationships with people of all ages
• Moving your body every day is good for you
• How you live your life is your choice. Live it to the fullest.

We often get so busy with day to day ‘stuff’ that we forget about how we live our lives and the relationships we develop.  I hope that by sharing this with you, it will remind you of some of the choices you can make about your life and the impact it can have.  Go out and enjoy your life and the relationships you have.